How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
