rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
