this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
