Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
