is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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