Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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