i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
