It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
vagina is talking i cant
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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