Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
