Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize