i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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