I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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