If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
