If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
