can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I looked at my own cervix.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
