Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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