Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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