DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
