My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
