dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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