whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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