Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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