Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize