She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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