I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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