whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
