His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
