none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
