As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
