yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
