she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
