got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
