NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
