you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
