wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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