thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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