i can't believe i had my finger in that
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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