i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
where are my eyebrows?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
