Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
