hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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