all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize