God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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