at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize