2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
