let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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