Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
