i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
