): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
