and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
