And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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