no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
is it fun? or sober?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
