Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
