This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize