words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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