rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
