Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
