Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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