ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
