My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
