what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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