If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
