so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
