Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
