i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
