Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
