Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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