so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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