a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
